Yay!

Two of my friends from my year abroad are coming to visit me for the next week and a bit! I'm SO EXCITED. I haven't seen Nora since April last year, and Chris since May 2010! We're going to be visiting London then doing a roadtrip of sorts to Bath, Stonehenge, Brighton etc. I'm so looking forward to be able to spend so much time with the two of them.

I won't be blogging (not that you'd notice, since my update rate has been appalling lately!) in that time, obviously. But I'll hopefully be back with lots of fun photos, like these darlings:

Pointless.

Confession: Dan and I are massive Pointless nerds. Dan usually watches it while I'm getting ready for work, which often results in my getting v. sidetracked from the getting ready. If we've nothing to watch, we'll iPlayer an episode we've not seen. We might have secret aspirations to be contestants on there. In lieu of that, though, I managed to get us tickets to see it being filmed!

So on Thursday we headed up to London (with stops at M&Ms World and the Tate Modern along the way) to BBC Television Centre.

We were in the second row from the front so we had a great view. It was really quite a small set, bless it. I did take some photos of the actual set, but since we weren't technically supposed to, I shan't post them on here just in case I get an angry email from the BBC ...

The most interesting thing - for me (and I think probably Dan!) - was seeing how tall Richard is. He's a giant! 6' 7", I think the warm up guy said he was. Actual giant. He looks so normal sized in his chair (though I now understand why the chair is so imposing with its tall back!), then he gets up and BAM, huge human being.

We got to do lots of 'ohhhhh'-ing as the numbers on the column go down, and lots of cheering and clapping. It was rather good fun. Although it's a lot less tense in real life than it seems on the TV. I think this only fueled mine and Dan's desire to be contestants! Maybe one day ...

Bad Emma.

Oh dear, I've been a very bad blogger. Hi, remember me? I have absolutely no excuse for my lack of posts other than the complete lack of incentive to write anything. Poor show, Emma, poor show.

Since I still feel I have nothing much to post about but feel obliged to post something, here's some lovely and funny things:

If I had spare money, I would buy this dress. As it is, I'm being good and resisting the urge.

I want my hair this colour. Also, Lana Del Rey's songs are so haunting and beautiful. I almost don't want to like them, but I do. Here, listen to one of her songs:

I love this quote ♥

Oh Scarlett, you so purdy, even when you're sweaty and frowny.

I'll try and motivate myself to post more. I will, I swears.

Photodump [1]

Now that I have a modern fancy touchscreen phone, I've resolved to take more photos on it to do what all the cool kids do and do standard 'photodump' blog posts. Yes, I know, I'm so imaginative.
Here's a little of what I've been doing/buying while I'm in convalescence (not really) in Cardiff:

1. A rather artistic selection of peelers in Ikea.

2. Some marshmallow filled duck type things.

3. A chai tea latte and toasted teacake in the Marks & Spencer cafe.

4. Some rather marvellous new black boots - real leather and only £39 in the New Look sale!

5. A Minnie Mouse print top from Primark. I'm a bit in love with it. It's a 'fashion' top with a Disney twist, what more could a girl want?

6. A Cath Kidston camera case (to replace the camera case I somehow managed to lose on a night out).

Thank you for the lovely 'get well' comments on my last post, by the way! =]

Absence.

Hmm, it seems I've been on an unscheduled blogging hiatus. This is mainly due to the fact that I'm in Cardiff without my own beautiful laptop. Which means I'm having to use my mother's 17" laptop. It's an actual beast. I thought the idea of laptops was that they were portable? Anyway. I suppose you might like to hear why it is I'm in Cardiff without my own beautiful laptop.

(warning: this story is quite unglamorous and a little bit gross)

Basically, I had a toenail removed. I'd had an ingrown toenail for ages, and was supposed to have part of it removed today, but it got infected and no amount of medication would clear it up (I told you it was an unglamorous story, didn't I), despite said medication making me feel nauseous and appetite-less and not allowing me to have alcohol while I was on it (which made the staff party rather dull, I must say).

Last week I came back for one appointment, expecting to be given some more medication then sent on my way again (hence not bringing my laptop with me). But instead the doctor sent me to the hospital, thinking I'd be given an IV drip of LOADS OF INFECTION BUSTING DRUGS so that the toenail surgery could go ahead. The nurses and doctor at the hospital, however, just looked at it and went, "Yeah, we're taking that whole thing off."

I was shoved into a private room, my toe was numbed and then a horribly silent doctor proceeded to pull my toenail off. Thankfully it didn't hurt (well, until the anesthetic wore off before the painkillers had kicked in. That wasn't so great). It did feel awfully strange, though, so I'm hoping to never have to repeat that situation again.

However, it wasn't quite as simple as that. Because my body is super awesome and had tried to heal itself, it had over compensated and given me some extra skin on the side of the nail bed. So now I have to go back to the doctors every couple of days for them to drown said bit of skin in silver nitrate to try and chemically burn it off. LOVELY STUFF. This is obviously quite painful and means I can't walk very well for a good few hours afterwards.

So I've been off work for a week, and have another week off. Which is quite pleasant, really, because it means I get to be at home with my parents for longer than I've been home in AGES. The whole going to the doctors every other day thing is getting quite boring now though. The receptionists know my name, for heaven's sake.

New Year body hang ups.

(warning: quite a rambling post)

Come the start of every new year, the same kind of articles and messages keep popping up everywhere; Christmas is over, it's a new year, it's time to lose weight! Cool, groovy, go for it. It's a lovely idea. But all this stuff annoys me. Because honestly, I'd like to have put on some weight over Christmas. I don't need to lose weight, I need to put it on. I've always been slim (I prefer that term to 'thin', but who am I kidding? I'm thin. I'm skinny. There, I said it). Losing weight has never been an issue for me. Gaining weight, however? Issue. Yes, I know that most girls have the opposite problem. I know that. That's why there's so much written about losing weight, especially at this time of year. But it makes me a little sad. Because I know I have the kind of figure that a lot of the girls reading those articles about losing weight want to have. And I don't want it. Okay, that's a lie. I love that I can eat loads and barely put on weight. But I've got the figure of a stick. There are no discernible curves anywhere.

Over the summer I gained a fair amount of weight. I've no idea how much because I rarely weigh myself (not because of any weird psychological reason; I just don't particularly care), but it was a pretty visible difference. It came as a result of eating Dan's portions sizes for every meal and not doing very much (read: none) exercise. So I was pretty damn unhealthy. But for once in my life I actually had some vague semblance of curves. And I liked it.

But then I started a job that requires me to be on my feet, on the go, the whole time I'm there. It also means I eat more sporadically, and those two things equate to me losing weight. A lot of weight. Clothes that fit me perfectly three months ago are baggy on me (particularly trousers; I bought some size 8 work trousers, then 3 weeks later had to start wearing the trousers I last wore to school when I was 16). I've lost my bum. And damnit, I want it back! I would honestly rather be a size 10 (because, if I'm being honest, it would take a lot of eating and sitting still for me to be more than that!) with a little bit of 'flab', but with a good bum and some actual breasts, than a size 6 with, well, nothing.

The media portrays ideal women as having my overall figure, but with D cup breasts and a booty to match. It's something that's pretty damn tricky for the average woman to achieve (without the help of cosmetic surgery). I'm trying to love my body for what it is, for what I have, but it's hard. I have other body hang ups that I can deal with (the bump in my nose, for instance, means I despise photos of myself taken side on), but when I can't buy certain tops, certain dresses that I want to wear because they need hips and breasts to pull them off, it genuinely upsets me. It's all very well saying 'wear whatever you want', but when what I want to wear makes me look skinny and flat chested? I suddenly don't want to wear it any more.

I think what I'm trying to say is; anyone who dreams of being a size 6/8? It ain't all it's cracked up to be sometimes.

P.S. This is in no way an Emma pity party. I know I'm lucky to be naturally slim, don't worry! But if girls get to gripe about wanting to lose weight, I get to gripe about wanting to put on weight.

2011 recap.

2011, as I mentioned in my last post, was something of a strange year. In my mind, it's very much split into 3 parts; January to May was university and dissertation-ing, June to the end of August was the Summer of Joblessness, then September to December my life was pretty much taken over by my job at the Holiday Inn. So yes, a very mismatched year!

Here's some highlights from the year:

March: Florida

April: Returning to Colorado

June: Mariah + Sierra coming to visit

July: Graduation

Summer

Nights out with work friends

Definitely some good memories there. Here's to 2012 providing even more!

Happy New Year!

Some hopes/plans/ideas for 2012:

+ Find a more 'graduate appropriate' job.
+ Go on at least one proper holiday. I get restless when I've not been on holiday for a while, and right now my restlessness is getting out of control.
+ Blog more.
+ Take more photos on my phone for some 'easy' blog posts. Everyone does those 'phone photo dump' posts, I want in.
+ Get a job in Walt Disney World.
+ Make some friends around here that aren't work colleagues.
+ Generally sort my life out.

2011 was a bit of a strange year. I don't know if it was good or bad. It was a bit all over the place. If my beginning to 2012 is anything to go by, 2012 could be a bit of a strange year as well. Getting home at 4am is pretty standard after a New Year's night out, but when you've been clearing up glasses and confetti for several hours from other people getting drunk and having a good time? Not quite the same.

Merry (belated) Christmas!

I hope you all had a fantastic Christmas! It certainly looks that way from all the blog posts I've just trawled through, haha.

My Christmas was a bit of an unusual one. It was the first Christmas I've not been at home in Cardiff, and I was really upset about this. Although I wasn't working Christmas Day, I worked until 6pm on Christmas Eve, then had work at 8am on Boxing Day so really didn't have a chance to go home. Luckily my parents are wonderful and came to spend the day with me.

We managed to rustle up a quite delicious Christmas lunch despite my teeny kitchen, and our afternoon entertainment was provided by a music + film quiz book my father received, and a viewing of family favourite Airplane! You know those films that everyone in your family quotes? Airplane! is definitely one of ours ("I picked the wrong day to give up smoking!" and "No stopping the red zone" are particular favourites). That and Some Like It Hot.

I got a lovely - and strange in some instances (multivitamins and stain remover, just what I've always wanted!) - selection of presents. Definitely looking forward to starting on that bottle of Irish Cream Liqueur ;) In fact, I might have a glass now while watching the Big Fat Quiz of the Year. What a life!

A serious post.

Back in this post I mentioned that something was going on in my life that I'd talk about properly a bit later. Well, it's now that time. Aren't you excited?

So, Dan and I have split up. We were together for a year, and it was a great year, but in the past few months I'd grown to realise that my feelings for him were more platonic than romantic. And as wonderful a person as he is, I just couldn't be in a relationship with someone that I don't feel romantically attracted to. It's not fair on me or him.

We're still having to live together because our tenancy doesn't end until July next year, so it is a bit of an odd situation. If our flat had two bedrooms it would make it a lot easier, but it doesn't. Neither of us can afford to pay for the rent on this place by ourselves, which means that neither of us can afford to move out either so we've just got to stick it out for now.

I'm not sure what's going to happen come July - will I stay around here but move into a place by myself? Will I move back to Cardiff? Will I move somewhere else entirely? I really don't know. Still, that's over 6 months away yet, so I'm sure something will work itself out.