Photodump [1]

Now that I have a modern fancy touchscreen phone, I've resolved to take more photos on it to do what all the cool kids do and do standard 'photodump' blog posts. Yes, I know, I'm so imaginative.
Here's a little of what I've been doing/buying while I'm in convalescence (not really) in Cardiff:

1. A rather artistic selection of peelers in Ikea.

2. Some marshmallow filled duck type things.

3. A chai tea latte and toasted teacake in the Marks & Spencer cafe.

4. Some rather marvellous new black boots - real leather and only £39 in the New Look sale!

5. A Minnie Mouse print top from Primark. I'm a bit in love with it. It's a 'fashion' top with a Disney twist, what more could a girl want?

6. A Cath Kidston camera case (to replace the camera case I somehow managed to lose on a night out).

Thank you for the lovely 'get well' comments on my last post, by the way! =]

Absence.

Hmm, it seems I've been on an unscheduled blogging hiatus. This is mainly due to the fact that I'm in Cardiff without my own beautiful laptop. Which means I'm having to use my mother's 17" laptop. It's an actual beast. I thought the idea of laptops was that they were portable? Anyway. I suppose you might like to hear why it is I'm in Cardiff without my own beautiful laptop.

(warning: this story is quite unglamorous and a little bit gross)

Basically, I had a toenail removed. I'd had an ingrown toenail for ages, and was supposed to have part of it removed today, but it got infected and no amount of medication would clear it up (I told you it was an unglamorous story, didn't I), despite said medication making me feel nauseous and appetite-less and not allowing me to have alcohol while I was on it (which made the staff party rather dull, I must say).

Last week I came back for one appointment, expecting to be given some more medication then sent on my way again (hence not bringing my laptop with me). But instead the doctor sent me to the hospital, thinking I'd be given an IV drip of LOADS OF INFECTION BUSTING DRUGS so that the toenail surgery could go ahead. The nurses and doctor at the hospital, however, just looked at it and went, "Yeah, we're taking that whole thing off."

I was shoved into a private room, my toe was numbed and then a horribly silent doctor proceeded to pull my toenail off. Thankfully it didn't hurt (well, until the anesthetic wore off before the painkillers had kicked in. That wasn't so great). It did feel awfully strange, though, so I'm hoping to never have to repeat that situation again.

However, it wasn't quite as simple as that. Because my body is super awesome and had tried to heal itself, it had over compensated and given me some extra skin on the side of the nail bed. So now I have to go back to the doctors every couple of days for them to drown said bit of skin in silver nitrate to try and chemically burn it off. LOVELY STUFF. This is obviously quite painful and means I can't walk very well for a good few hours afterwards.

So I've been off work for a week, and have another week off. Which is quite pleasant, really, because it means I get to be at home with my parents for longer than I've been home in AGES. The whole going to the doctors every other day thing is getting quite boring now though. The receptionists know my name, for heaven's sake.

New Year body hang ups.

(warning: quite a rambling post)

Come the start of every new year, the same kind of articles and messages keep popping up everywhere; Christmas is over, it's a new year, it's time to lose weight! Cool, groovy, go for it. It's a lovely idea. But all this stuff annoys me. Because honestly, I'd like to have put on some weight over Christmas. I don't need to lose weight, I need to put it on. I've always been slim (I prefer that term to 'thin', but who am I kidding? I'm thin. I'm skinny. There, I said it). Losing weight has never been an issue for me. Gaining weight, however? Issue. Yes, I know that most girls have the opposite problem. I know that. That's why there's so much written about losing weight, especially at this time of year. But it makes me a little sad. Because I know I have the kind of figure that a lot of the girls reading those articles about losing weight want to have. And I don't want it. Okay, that's a lie. I love that I can eat loads and barely put on weight. But I've got the figure of a stick. There are no discernible curves anywhere.

Over the summer I gained a fair amount of weight. I've no idea how much because I rarely weigh myself (not because of any weird psychological reason; I just don't particularly care), but it was a pretty visible difference. It came as a result of eating Dan's portions sizes for every meal and not doing very much (read: none) exercise. So I was pretty damn unhealthy. But for once in my life I actually had some vague semblance of curves. And I liked it.

But then I started a job that requires me to be on my feet, on the go, the whole time I'm there. It also means I eat more sporadically, and those two things equate to me losing weight. A lot of weight. Clothes that fit me perfectly three months ago are baggy on me (particularly trousers; I bought some size 8 work trousers, then 3 weeks later had to start wearing the trousers I last wore to school when I was 16). I've lost my bum. And damnit, I want it back! I would honestly rather be a size 10 (because, if I'm being honest, it would take a lot of eating and sitting still for me to be more than that!) with a little bit of 'flab', but with a good bum and some actual breasts, than a size 6 with, well, nothing.

The media portrays ideal women as having my overall figure, but with D cup breasts and a booty to match. It's something that's pretty damn tricky for the average woman to achieve (without the help of cosmetic surgery). I'm trying to love my body for what it is, for what I have, but it's hard. I have other body hang ups that I can deal with (the bump in my nose, for instance, means I despise photos of myself taken side on), but when I can't buy certain tops, certain dresses that I want to wear because they need hips and breasts to pull them off, it genuinely upsets me. It's all very well saying 'wear whatever you want', but when what I want to wear makes me look skinny and flat chested? I suddenly don't want to wear it any more.

I think what I'm trying to say is; anyone who dreams of being a size 6/8? It ain't all it's cracked up to be sometimes.

P.S. This is in no way an Emma pity party. I know I'm lucky to be naturally slim, don't worry! But if girls get to gripe about wanting to lose weight, I get to gripe about wanting to put on weight.

2011 recap.

2011, as I mentioned in my last post, was something of a strange year. In my mind, it's very much split into 3 parts; January to May was university and dissertation-ing, June to the end of August was the Summer of Joblessness, then September to December my life was pretty much taken over by my job at the Holiday Inn. So yes, a very mismatched year!

Here's some highlights from the year:

March: Florida

April: Returning to Colorado

June: Mariah + Sierra coming to visit

July: Graduation

Summer

Nights out with work friends

Definitely some good memories there. Here's to 2012 providing even more!

Happy New Year!

Some hopes/plans/ideas for 2012:

+ Find a more 'graduate appropriate' job.
+ Go on at least one proper holiday. I get restless when I've not been on holiday for a while, and right now my restlessness is getting out of control.
+ Blog more.
+ Take more photos on my phone for some 'easy' blog posts. Everyone does those 'phone photo dump' posts, I want in.
+ Get a job in Walt Disney World.
+ Make some friends around here that aren't work colleagues.
+ Generally sort my life out.

2011 was a bit of a strange year. I don't know if it was good or bad. It was a bit all over the place. If my beginning to 2012 is anything to go by, 2012 could be a bit of a strange year as well. Getting home at 4am is pretty standard after a New Year's night out, but when you've been clearing up glasses and confetti for several hours from other people getting drunk and having a good time? Not quite the same.